Cry night is the name of the last or next to last day of a church camp, convention, or conference. But you can have cry nights at your average church service as well. It happens very frequently during youth group nights and retreats. Basically, it's a night in which several things happen; worship music is played, a fiery sermon is given, and, well...you cry. It's not uncommon to see people rushing to the altar, crying and speaking in tongues, shaking, and being under the influence of the Holy Spirit.
Except...that's not what's actually happening.
See, there's psychological stuff going on that many of us were not even aware of. There was a great deal of conditioning and even grooming that went into these nights. With screeches from the pastor telling us how worthless we are and how we deserved hell. The worship team belting songs out about how much we hurt God's heart (as if we are responsible for God's feelings) and that we should feel guilty for being human. The lights are low. The air is cooler than usual. We're sure that God is touching our hearts.
But he's not. I know, that's a hard pill to swallow. But we were duped. We were manipulated into feeling a specific way. Everything is calculated. Maybe not on purpose; after all, I don't actually think there is someone behind the scenes rubbing their hands together and laughing maniacally (at least, not all of the time). But think about it; when you were in youth group, as an example, what were your cry nights like? What was a common factor in all of those come to Jesus nights?
Manipulation. We were manipulated by words that were meant to break us down. We were cut to the heart by worship music that promised we could be saved, even though we were just kids, and there was nothing wrong with us.
Coming back years later to those nights is always hard, because even though I am unlearning so much, I have found that I have such a long way to go. After all, we were taught that we are inherently evil, So why would we not cry?
A lot of planning and conditioning went into those nights. The most recent one I remember was actually in college during Cru. We had a fun night, and suddenly the atmosphere changed as the preacher spoke on the wrath of God and eternal hell. As you can imagine, this made many people come forward, crying, sobbing, and reaching for heaven. Scared to death. Fear being the leader, not love. Even then, it filled me with rage. Here were impressionable 20-somethings being told that they were miserable sinners. That they deserved God's wrath in hell.
How is this okay?
Honestly, looking back, it wasn't our fault. We put our faith in people who we thought spoke for God. It gave us a sense of family. Of belonging. Which isn't wrong; humans are social creatures. We want to belong.
But the question is, what exactly are we belonging to? Can we tell when we've been duped? Can we fight back when an institution any institution, tries to tear us down?
That's what the deconstruction movement is all about. It's about unlearning and relearning.
My hope is that you will unlearn these negative things; you are not depraved. You are not deserving of hell. You are not a speck of dust, nothing before God. You matter. You are stardust, a treasure, a miracle.
This is what we should be teaching our kids. Not that they are useless; but that they have the power to shape their destiny into anything they wish. This is the truth we should cling to. This is reality.
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