They Just Don't Get It

 

While browsing Tiktok, I came across a video by a young man who claimed that the whole “deconstruction” movement and the “cancellation” of preachers was a “sign.” He elaborated and said that God was moving in a “mighty way” and “pruning the church to create a righteous bride.”

All I could do was shake my head. They just don't get it. They don't want to get it. If they did, they wouldn't be looking the other way. They would acknowledge that there is hurt and trouble within the Christian church. They would acknowledge trauma, they would acknowledge abuse. They wouldn't try to explain away the mass genocide that was done in the name of God.

God is pruning the branches of his church? As if those of us that are deconstructing are not worthy of him? As if we are the problem? It's almost enough to make you want to scream.

Don't wave us off as “heretics.” Don’t turn a blind eye or a deaf ear to us. There are people in your own community who have been hurt by the church. So many say “that's not God, you weren't hurt by God you were hurt by the church.” But here's the thing. The church is the body of Christ right? The pastor is the shepherd right? If that's the case, and a pastor or the people of that church hurt me, why would I not recognize that as God? At least at first? When I see abuse happen, when I see people talk about their trauma, the toxicity of some Churches, the only conclusion that some people can come to is that God is okay with it. The church turns a blind eye to abuse, and yet somehow we are the bad ones?

There is no way that I can say it nicely. There is a reason people are leaving the church and it's not because we hate Jesus. The problem was never Jesus. The problem was never the man who said to turn the other cheek, who said that if you love your friend you should also love your enemy. Who said that if you abused a child, you should tie a millstone around your neck and drown.

Church, the problem is you. It has been you for a long, long time. Yet many of you want to look the other way and pretend the problem does not exist. As if the ones that are deconstructing are the ones who are wrong. We are wayward sheep that have gone astray. No. Many of us are still Christians. Although some of us may not be. 

Instead of demonizing us, listen to us. Instead of arguing with us, reason with us. Instead of damning us to hell, invite us to the table. Don't call us liars, don't call us scoffers. We are not any of those things. We are hurt, some of us are traumatized, some of us have been cut off from our own families. All in the name of your God and in the name of your church.

It is my hope that one day, the church will recognize the wrongdoing that it has been apart of. My hope Is that Christians will listen to us when we talk about the issues we have with the church. Because at the end of the day, we are all just human beings on the same planet, with the same needs, hurt, once, and misunderstandings. If we can see ourselves as humans first, the healing will truly begin. 

Who is God to Me Now?

 I've gotten this question a couple of times from people, asking me who I see God as now. As I go through my deconstruction, I went through a lot of time searching for meaning. Whether it was in Neo-Paganism, Hinduism, Buddhism or even Pantheism, I wanted to have something real in my life that I could hold onto. Where the church had failed me, I thought I could find meaning elsewhere. 

I learned a lot, being away from Christianity. I learned about myself, my own ways of looking at God, and it changed me. It changed my outlook on life, on the Divine, and my philosophy of the world. Suddenly, I was opening doors to new ways of thinking, new ways of looking at the world. There were other choices out there, not just the one I had grown up with.

So, how do I see God now? 

Well, about that. I suppose my way of seeing God falls into, not a pantheistic way of looking at the world, but a panentheistic way of looking at the world, where Deity is both immanent and transcendent.

 In Wicca (my version, anyway), the Horned God represents the changing of the seasons. He "dies" in the fall and is "reborn" at the winter solstice, the shortest day of the year, when things go from waning away to waxing. This is God in his "known" form. In Hinduism, it's known as Saguna Brahman; God with form. He is immanence. The Goddess is the one at the center of it all. She is Creatrix and Destroyer, and she is seen as the consort to the Horned God. She is God without form, or Nirguna Brahman, as they say in Hinduism. She is transcendence. Together, they are God, or the All. 

My view of God is very nature-based. I think this comes from my love of nature and animals, my interest in herbs and growing things; I've always seen Deity being within things, such as the earth, the waters, the stars. God is close to us, not far away. God is here. Right with us. You could even say that God is so close to us, that God is us. We come from God, and can be seen as an extension of God. We come from God, the All, and we return to God. There is no separation. The Shaivites, a sect of Hinduism, say that the only thing God cannot do is remove himself from us. And I believe that wholeheartedly; God is unable to separate from us, because he is us. It's something that I find to be so, so beautiful. I was taught from a young age that God was separated from us by sin. That we cannot known him without Jesus, and even then, some sects of Christianity teach that, even with Jesus, the Father is still unknowble. But now? not only can I know God, I can know that I am God. That's an indescribable feeling, especially on bad days when I am feeling the pangs of a depressive episode.

So now that I have shared my outlook on life with you, I'm curious...where do you fall? Do you still believe in God or Gods? Are you an atheist? If you are comfortable with sharing, please let me know in the comment section below!

Veganism and the Evangelical Movement

 Over the past week, I made the decision to become a vegan and switch to a vegan diet. I did this for spiritual purposes, as well as health and ethical purposes. It's something I have toyed with since the age of 16, but finally decided to take more seriously now. Being plant-based has made my life much healthier and happier. It may have also saved lives. Who knows? I'm happy with it. But I can already think of a few people who aren't.

Well, okay. I can't pigeonhole them all. Many Christians and Christian denominations, such as the Seventh Day Adventists, are vegan. However, growing up evangelical and fundamentalist, I remember meat and animal products such as eggs and dairy being a significant part of the church culture. Whether it was potlucks or going over to a neighbor's house after church to eat lunch, it was everywhere. We never really gave much thought to the animals that were killed to provide the meal, or exploited to provide the eggs and dairy; it was food, it tasted good, that settled it. 

I think a lot of it has to do with the way in which animals are viewed. Most Christians, especially evangelical Christians, believe animals have no souls, are different from us, and were put here to be used for the purposes of man. They no longer are part of our world, but are meant to be tools to use in this world. We had dominion over them, so we could do what we please, right? Even as a child, that never set right with me. I was an animal lover growing up. My friends will tell you I am an avid cat lover, but my love extends to all animals. I see them as creatures capable of emotions such as love, kindness, as well as anger, even hate. They make the world a beautiful place, and I always appreciated that. But I was still taught about how they were without souls, would not be in heaven when I die and were just there to benefit us. God made them for us to use, that was it. 

It was only after I left the evangelical bubble that I realized what I had been taught about the world was wrong. Suddenly, my mind opened up to new possibilities. Animals no longer were tools; they were my siblings. Earth was no longer something to hold dominion over; she was my Mother. I began reading as much as I could about animal rights and veganism, which included watching some very uncomfortable, graphic videos displaying animal cruelty in factory farms. My mind was made up; no more fooling around. I wanted to live a cruelty-free life, with my new beliefs on animals and the world. So I became vegan. 

Veganism and vegetarianism is usually looked on with disdain and mistrust by evangelicals, who believe we own the animals and hold dominion over them. Often it is seen as idolizing animals, seeing them as equal or above us. To an evangelical, that is a big no-no; even though, according to the Bible, before the fall, Adam and Eve were most likely vegans and ate a vegan diet; it was only after the flood that meat eating became the norm.

So here's a challenge to my exvangelical brothers and sisters; try to go vegan or at least vegetarian. Try to take a challenge to make one day plant-based. See what a difference it makes in your life, as well as in the lives of animals. I recommend also watching documentaries such as Forks over Knives or Cowspiracy. We have the power, as exvangelicals, to really make a difference in the world. Why not start with a cruelty free diet? Let's show that we care about the rights of animals to live and grow in this world, just like us. They weren't made for us; they were made to walk beside us. And, I think that is truly an incredible thing.