Every person who has ever deconstructed their religious beliefs has a story. Whether it is one of simple questioning or leaving behind a cult, each story is different and unique and carries its own journey through what one has been taught to them, to the truth.
I did a quick sit down with Lydia Joy Lauderville, a friend and fellow
blogger and asked her to share her story growing up in religious fundamentalism. The following are the questions asked, and the answers to those questions:
1. What kind of church did you go to? What was it like?
It was very isolated. The church was affiliated with Bob Jones University.
2. What was your home life like?
I was born and raised a Virginian in the IFB church (independent fundamentalist Baptist). I'm second generation, and was raised in the church for 21 years before finally leaving. My home life was very abusive, chaotic, and difficult. My father was a hard worker, and tried to be present in our lives. However, my mom was overwhelmed with 12 children. As the 10th of 12 children, me and my needs were low on the totem pole. I was often taking care of my siblings and would parent myself. In addition, I had siblings who were very sexually abusive, with one ending up in prison.
3. Did you ever question things? What happened when you did?
It really took time; I believed in what I was taught, and when people didn't also believe or follow what my family did, I asked why. It wasn't until my teenage years when I began to question things. But it got me into trouble. I remember once questioning our youth pastor and I was slapped in the face. I would be yelled at and shunned within the IFB.
4. When did you make the decision to deconstruct and ultimately leave the church?
It was a mix of trauma and traumatic events with no support. The church threw out family under the bus constantly. I became tired of it, and started rebelling against what our pastor said. I thought he was hypocritical. The breaking point was watching my abuser come back to church after 9 years. A family member confronted them, and they were assaulted as a result. That's when I knew, this was something I had to get away from.
5. What do you consider yourself now?
I don't consider myself a believer, but I do believe in the possibility. I am comfortable on this path and no longer feel like I hate religion. I have a whole new respect for people who are religious. I would say I am undecided but comfortable in my indecision.
6. What would you say to young women stuck in the evangelical/fundamentalist bubble?
I would tell them to value themselves. Ask yourself, what do you want? What do you want to be and experience? Lean into that vulnerability, because while it is scary, it is very freeing. And remember: if you feel like you are being mistreated, you are.
Lydia's blog can be found here: https://lydiajoyl.blogspot.com/ Thanks again to Lydia for being willing to answer my questions, and thank you for being honest and open with me! I hope we can inspire people for years to come!
